It just so happens that I’m feeling lost right now. And in feeling lost, I’m running into others that are also feeling lost because as you know, like attracts like.
Feeling lost, for each person, looks (and feels) different.
I don’t mind feeling lost. I get frustrated with the false starts and wrong paths. I also always find my way. Usually it’s back to my center.
If you’ve been reading my posts for long enough, you’ll know that I rely on the universe for everything. I trust in the grand power and intelligence of the IS, or God as some would say.
I am comfortable with my human level of intelligence and I know that for me, my brain has gotten me farther from my heart on more than one occasion. It makes me a little weary to trust my brain.
The universe, when I've given it complete trust, has never steered me wrong.
For some, feeling lost is the worst possible thing that could happen and so they never step off the well-worn path to allow themselves to potentially get lost.
It was three years ago in November that I started my business. It was a few years before that when I realized that I had worked so hard for the job, the title, the house, the salary, that in the process; I had lost myself entirely.
I had traded all that I was for a series of hollow labels.
It was upon that recognition that I actively decided to step WAY OFF the path and start a new trail. It resulted in walking away from an 11-year marriage and a 20-year career.
I wouldn’t trade what I’ve learned since that time, for anything.
You’ll note I keep saying "feeling lost" as opposed to being lost. This is intentional. I spent a significant part of my 2017 year trying to stay in a state of “being”.
I came from a past, as described above, where I had to DO something to BE something. DO the hard work to BE the right employee. DO the dishes to BE the good wife. DO the job to HAVE the house to BE “successful”.
2017 was about BEING who I am at all times regardless of what I’m doing. This is a whole different kind of lost. It’s a sensation I can only compare to the way I saw the world (pre-lasik surgery) without my glasses - a vague and blurry outline of something that I’m chasing down but I can’t see clearly enough and the shapes keep shifting when I think I’ve sorted something out.
I often end up somewhere I never intended to be.
It’s always exactly where I’m meant to be and often, who I need to be there with, whether or not I know it in the moment.
I’m an excellent self-reflector. I can dive, shamelessly and without judgement, into my reaction to any given sensation because I know I’m the one creating the reaction. I can actively see myself groping around for answers and testing each step, not sure if I'm on wet or dry land.
Each time, I’m overwhelmed with the sensation of feeling lost.
Here’s how I cope:
I remember that I am extravagantly loved by the universe and that if I am creating a scenario it’s because I have something to learn from it. Then I focus on what the lesson is. I am driven by learning so this is natural for me. I ask, sometimes out loud, “What would it take for me to understand the lesson in this experience?”.
I remind myself that situations I could define as “unfortunate” often contain hidden, fun and entertaining surprises. I ask, “What would it take to find the wonderful surprise(s) in this experience?”. This turns on my explorer, wanderer, way finder and I energetically feel the shift into curiosity.
The fog, the shape shifting and the disorientation forces me to focus on form and substance that’s closer to my own inner surroundings. “What is clear to me in the moment?”, I ask.
It can be anything big or small. At least one, usually more. Because I’m a gratitude driven human - my crystal clear bits are typically gratitudes.
This last few weeks, it has been gratitude for the sunshine out my window and dry nights to sit in my meditation garden by the fire. Both the sun and dry nights are a rare gift in the Pacific Northwest this time of year.
My gratitude redirects my focus to things that make me feel good.
There’s a ton of power that comes from feeling good.
I don’t know about you, but I was raised in a way that showed me that 'life is work” and it couldn’t be too fun or something was wrong with you.
I now know, EXACTLY how I want to feel. I do everything I can to take actions to feel that way. Each feeling is associated with some sensation of bliss.
I won’t live any other way.
If you look closely, over the coping actions above, each of these examples is an exercise in presence.
Each of these examples requires me to acknowledge firstly how I’m feeling in the moment. (I feel________________.)
Accept it. (The acceptance is the most often skipped-over part - trust me, giving your feeling(s) a name (acknowledge) and permission to BE (acceptance) is a significant part of the solution.)
Then take action toward something that feels better. My spiritual coach, L'Erin Alta taught me this. She calls it the "Triple A": Acknowledge, Accept, Action. It's brilliant! More importantly - it fucking works. (And I don't love cursing so you know this is significant!)
Through these actions, I activate the parts of me that love to play: the learner, the explorer, the alchemist.
I turn those super powers on and suddenly things start to crystalize in a new way.
I can see the horizon more clearly - sometimes well beyond it. The stars are sharper. The outside world starts to shift. And I realize it’s shifting because I’ve come home to myself.
Like attracts like remember?
Crystalize your inside (come back to your BEing) - activate your super powers - and remarkably, your outer world follows suit.
If you want to know how to do this for yourself, join me in person, January 20, 2018 when I host an in-person workshop to shed what’s no longer serving you, activate your superpowers and make a plan to use them to make 2018 your most powerful year yet.
May you be in a place to receive the love and light that surrounds you always,